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“The Rod”
A Sermon preached by the
Rev. Douglas M. Donley
This
is all saints day. Bells ring on banners
reminding us of those who have gone before.
So often they seem so distant, but today we invoke their memories and
they are as close as the ringing of the bells as close as the breath we
breath. If we look closely, we might
even see them in the pews next to us.
Many
of those people we remember were parents, grandparents or parent-figures.
Since
the scripture from Hebrews speaks about parents and children, I want us to
think about those who have gone before us in previous generations; who look
upon us just beyond the veil; who are as close as the air we breath as the
flickering flame of a candle or the sound of bells.
The
writer of Hebrews affirms that we are surrounded by a great cloud of
witnesses. Indeed we are. Not only are those on these banners our
witnesses, but also those living witness what we do, how we live our
lives.
"Since we are surrounded by such a great
cloud of witnesses, let us set lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so
closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that
was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the
right hand of the throne of God."(Hebrews 12:1-2)
The
writer of Hebrews says these words only after writing for an entire chapter
about all of the faithful people who have lived and died in God. Chapter 11 is known as the roll call of the
faithful. It is the theology of Hebrews
that Jesus is the pioneer and perfecter—the best example of a faithful one; one
uniquely worth of praises who alone holds the key to salvation.
Therefore,
since we are surrounded by this cloud of witnesses, let us persevere, just as
Jesus did. Let us make our lives worthy
of the name Christian. Let us lay aside
every barrier. Let us repent. Let us re-imagine ourselves as something else
and something better. Let us not think
that we live in a vacuum. Let us not
think that what we do or leave undone does not matter. Let us move forward, learning from past
mistakes and coming closer and closer with each passing moment to being the
kind of world community God has envisioned since the beginning of time.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This would be the easy portion of the scripture to address. The harder part has to do with discipline. The writer of Hebrews has us recall how we
have made commitments to raise children and to give them discipline. The writer
encourages us to take discipline from God the way we give discipline to our
children—assuming of course, that the discipline we give our children is
actually helpful.
This got me thinking about the whole concept of discipline. “Disciple”
seems to have the same root as discipline. When we think of problems that children
invariably get into, we often think of discipline. Was it too harsh? Was it too lax? Finding the right balance is the unique
challenge of parenthood.
When we think of discipline, we often think of punishment. But it’s not only about punishment. It’s also about creating safe and healthy
boundaries through which children can be free to grow. There is a fine line here between freedom and
restriction in child-rearing.
This
is our first All Saints day since the death of Kim’s mother. I’m sorry I didn’t know here when she was
younger and healthier. Our kids only
knew her when she was quite frail. She
was generous with her hugs, creative with her meals, and predictable in her phone calls. Our kids watched her with awe and devotion,
maybe even more so as her health deteriorated.
The kids loved to push her in her wheelchair and sample cherry tomatoes
that she had grown in her garden. Before
she moved into an assisted living facility, we often visited her in her
apartment. It was filled with all of her
treasures at all different levels. Our
kids wanted to touch and explore everything.
She told them not to touch things, which worked for about 30
seconds. She expected them to be nice
and quiet, even though they were two and four years old and into
everything. When she shook her finger
and raised her voice, we knew she meant business. The day before yesterday, Rebecca curled up
in Kim’s arms and talked about how much she missed Gaga. You always knew where you were she was coming
from. She was an old-school Baptist,
after all. I’m sure she came at her
sense of discipline from a pure motivation.
Hebrews,
it would appear, believes children should be punished. He or she quotes Proverbs 3:11, 12 which says
“for God disciplines those whom God loves, and chastises every child whom God
accepts.” This sounds very close to the
words of Proverbs 13:24, “spare the rod and spoil the child.” We seem to have Biblical evidence for child
beating—it’s even seen as an act of love.
I
had my share of spankings as a kid. I
bet I deserved most of them. The rod of
choice in my household was a ping-pong paddle.
You knew you were in big trouble when we were told to pull down our
pants before feeling the paddle. A rod
can be a scary thing. It can be a power
that can be abused if we are not careful.
I find myself as a parent in times of stress raising my kids the same
way I was raised, for good or ill.
Luckily I’m not stressed all of the time and I think clearer than
that.
As a
nation, we seem to think that violent punishment is something that is going to
work in all circumstances. But it can
also backfire on us. It can add fuel to
the fire, especially if it taps into one’s rage. Are terrorism and torture and imprisonment
really effective long-term deterrents?
As a parent, what is helpful, I think, is to set clear boundaries, but
to be gently flexible when need be.
Sparing
the rod, having no clear boundaries, no expectations of behavior, will spoil a child. A rod can be a weapon, a law, an ethic. Sparing this kind of rod brings anarchy or at
least abuse of power.
A friend
several years ago spoke about the death of her grandfather whom she loved. But there was something odd about the
relationship. He was a well-respected
preacher, but my friend’s female cousin had the same ambivalence at his
death. Mixed with genuine love, there
was also the shared memory of him being inappropriate with his female
grandchildren. Neither of them felt they
could speak about this while he was alive, but they found solidarity in each
other. He had to account for his life
when he met his maker, after all. Many
have clearly abused their power.
The
rod comes up in Psalm 23 as well. “Yea though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy
staff they comfort me.” The good shepherd will guide us by using her
rod and staff. “Thy rod and thy staff
they comfort me.” The rod and staff are
shepherd’s tools used for comfort and protection, not beating, not abuse of
power.
I
heard my good friend Nancy Hastings Sehested preach on the concept of “the rod”
several years ago at a Baptist Peace Fellowship gathering. Here is what she said,
“The shepherd uses the rod to
scare off the coyotes and the wolves. It
was used gently for guiding sheep down a new path or through a gate that they
needed to go through or alongside a dangerous trail so they wouldn’t fall
off. And being stubborn creatures, sheep
often get themselves into ridiculous situations. Greedy for one more mouthful of grass, sheep
will climb down a steep cliff and then slip and fall into the water. A very skillful shepherd with a long rod and
staff can pull them out.”
We
all need shepherding from time to time so we don’t stray off into paths that
will hurt or destroy us. A good shepherd
protects us, encourages us and compels us along the journey of the pastures of
our lives.
“Yea
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for
Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff
they comfort me.” When the land we must
cross is unfamiliar and hostile. We are given a guide, a guard, a comforter, a
friend. We do not walk through this land
alone. Thy rod and thy staff, they
comfort us.
My
paternal grandmother, Alice Reeve Gwendolyn Skidmore Donley was this kind of shepherd. She raised five children and kept the home
fires burning at the family farm. She
was quick with a pun and gathered people around her as generations gathered
every Sunday afternoon at the farm. She
was a lover of nature, of words and was always a calming and supportive
presence when there was family drama.
And so in the valley of the shadow of death, we remember the lives of
those who have gone before us and who are as close as the pinging sounds of
bells attached to ribbon. We remember
the good shepherds, even the flawed shepherds.
The rod of God is always a gentle and guiding rod that leads to
comfort, healing, health and hope. Let
us never forget that, and let us never confuse the power we have over each
other with the power of God as a loving, forgiving and guiding shepherd.
When
we come together at this table, in this community, in our grief and
remembrance, having listened to and given voice to the names of those departed
from us, we garner strength.
As
we eat this meal and feast on the stories of our lives which we share, we are
healed as we reconnect with our loved ones and God’s over-arching purpose for
us.
That
is what church is all about.
We
commit ourselves to carry on the life-giving work of those gone before.
We
commit to saying that those who have gone before did not die in vain.
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.”
Think,
my friends of the ones who have gone before you.
Think
of the ones who have given you discipline.
It
may not have been the healthiest in the world.
The rod of God was designed to protect you. Some abused this power. There is no denying that. But that rod, however it was used, helped
shape and mold you.
Maybe
you need to forgive them for their discipline.
Maybe
you need to thank them for their discipline.
Maybe
you simply need to remember them.
But
remember that they are now in a place where they want the very best for
you.
They
want you to understand and embrace your purpose.
And
they are rooting for you.
Thank
God for all the saints who from their labors rest and who continue to guide and
watch over us each and every day.